The Need To Impede

(Need For Speed Review And Rant By Neamo)

Returning quickly back to my embittered roots, I shall once more delve into the murky waters of ineptitude with this cosmic horror of a film. The Need For Speed! I will start this by quickly assuring you I had no real desire to watch this film. Racing movies, as a whole tend to be written with the elegance and sophistication of a drunk uncle at a family gathering, racist, crass and generally with little to no basis in truth. Needless to say, I was decidedly unenthused about the entire affair, and would have listened to my gut instinct save for my need to socialize and my endearing and enduring love toward Breaking Bad. How does Breaking Bad, one of the shining achievements of this decade of entertainment, line in to what is essentially a poor clone of The Fast And The Furious? Well it's lead protagonist is played by Aaron Paul, a man who played Jessie Pinkman in one of the most soul rending and at the same time hilarious performances I've ever been privileged to witness, so when I tell you that his name was enough to make me attempt to shelve deeply preconceived notions of film, you will I hope understand. This review took time to complete, and it is late, partly because of the difficulty in writing it but also because of internal struggles that lock into place when I try to criticize an actor who I know full well is capable of far more, and I hope you'll forgive that. With that in mind, let's proceed.

The Need For Speed starts, as does any film involving any form of vehicle nowadays for 'emphasis' in a garage. Tobey Marshall's father has just passed on leaving his son in debt with a gang of misfits friends who act as his mechanics. A mechanic but also a racer, Marshall takes out his frustration in a quick street race, during which he nearly kills a vagrant. That isn't central to the plot of course, and it isn't mentioned afterward save for a joking laugh between he and the onlooking pilot friend of his who serves as the token comic relief in this ensemble group of young adult misfits. When a former girlfriend of Marshall's breezes in to town with her boyfriend Dino Brewster, Brewster has plans for the debt addled mechanic and proposes a deal, a one time job refitting a mythical Shelby Mustang which appears to have been lost to time immemorial. Marshall, though having some unspoken past beef with Brewster agrees to take on the job and once repaired the car is sold. Marshall then bets his stake on his share of the money with Brewster through little coercion in a race, using one of the fabulously wealthy Brewster's imported vehicles. Marshall's friend and brother to the fore mentioned Ex decides to jump in, and acts much like our redshirt in quickly getting himself killed. Brewster leaves the scene and the car crash behind in the sights of his mirror and Marshall returns to the charred remains of his friend to have an angst ridden cry. In a kangaroo court scene that shows no evidence of true forensics, the police then incarcerate Marshall for manslaughter and two years later he walks away free with a new tattoo and a lust for vengeance. Asking to borrow the fixed mustang, the sales agent Julia agrees and arrives with it on the condition that Marshall get into the promised 'big race', a highly illegal but notoriously popularized street race held through some form of podcast. Driving across America and drawing as much attention to himself as possible, he is accepted into the race, bonds with the haughty Julia and after having the Mustang trashed drives to victory in the car that killed his friend, which proves in some way of convenience that Brewster masterminded World War 2. Fireworks.

No. No. I'm not going to talk about the plot. I'm not going to talk about the special effects or the musical score. I'm not even going to delve into the finer points that I would have liked to have seen changed or the nuances of film captured on screen. I won't do it. I'm not being paid for this and I simply refuse. The film was trash, and I have no desire to attempt to give it any form of real critique. I was admittedly saddened by Michael Keaton's performance, but it's something unfortunately I've come to expect of veteran actors who are in need of a quick buck. It certainly wasn't the worst thing in this film but it was not something I felt any real emotion other than disdain for. No, what I shall instead talk about in the form of a personal message is Aaron Paul.
 

I could see immediately that the dialogue wasn't good, and that he himself attempted to give some edge to it or bring the honed skills and persona of Breaking Bad into this festering wagon of shit. I could see it, and yet at the same time there is only so much polish you can put on a turd, given the size and consistency of the manure. The fact of the matter is, no matter how much grit he tried to infuse into his performance, or pressure he exerted into the role itself, it remained too moist and squirted through his fingers to leave a foul trail in it's wake. I don't blame him in this sense, I blame the film. My gripe is with the fact he took the role in the first place. I understand, drug dealer to illegal street racer isn't an enormous leap and I imagine it would have felt like a safe zone for him, but the fact of the matter is he has the talent and hype to select his roles, to choose them carefully and forge a career onward. There are better films and likewise premises for movies, and I have honest to god no fucking idea why anyone in his position would have picked up the script. I'm angry, both for him and for the fact that he is in this film, and while I can put it down to the mistake of an impressionable actor, it will not wash away the stain of disappointment.

In closing, I would like to end this with a heartened plea. Do not watch this film. Don't even pirate it, and increase the stream of downloads. Simply let this... This thing die, and watch Breaking Bad instead. It's a much better investment of your time, and it doesn't promote cancer. I may have burst a blood vessel in my head due to unexpected but sudden rage. Send help.

A Post Of Thrones

(Game Of Thrones Critique By Neamo)

The time is nigh for many of us to dig out our banners of fealty, and once more swear allegiance to the houses of Westeros. While many stalwarts have fallen to the wayside in events I won't spoil for those tardy few, the summer light wanes in the breaking of winter winds, and winter is coming. I will here and now declare Game of Thrones to be one of my favorite series, both literary and televised. It captures something that has long been missing, a raw edge to the heart rending fantasy that is glossed over or glibly misplaced in the seasoned art of pandering to a control group. A Song of Ice and Fire did not suffer from this of course, as is made famous by George RR Martin's quote, "I want my readers to be afraid.", and while this notion isn't unique to book but surely is a rarity, the idea of systematically destroying your protagonist, it is a sentiment unheard of in television. We've seen the rare unhappy ending, certainly, but in a show where the vile not only survive but thrive, and good is measured only by the shades of grey, such an idea can be considered a revolution to the format.

However, something I see repeatedly, in fact, more so than any other burgeoning topic on the show itself, is the announced statement that this is the greatest show of all time. Now, being an enormous fan of the Game of Thrones world set before me, and I do mean enormous, proclamations of grandeur aren't things I on the whole feel the need to argue with as when all else is boiled away, it certainly is awe inspiring. The idea however that it is the greatest show of all time gnaws at me for a variety of reasons, and so in my own contrite manner, I'm going to explain why I believe it isn't the greatest show of all time, but why in that same vein it has the potential to be.

• It's ongoing ; That's pretty self explanatory, but the fact of the matter is we've none of us far sight, and not one among us can claim to be a green seer. There is an ENORMOUS margin for error with this show and the way it's written, and as mentioned in interviews, the show is going to take a divergent path from the book in order to retain it's built fluidity. What does that mean? Well throughout the show we've seen subtle changes from the books, little odds and ends that otherwise would make for nothing too harrowing but in the same stance are not as they should be. Arya's hit list is somewhat different, certain characters seem more integral than they would in the source material and new characters have fanned in like the prostitute Roz in order to add some familiarizing warmth, until it is extinguished of course. With a greater divergence likely spurred on by the show's gallant sprint toward the casually meandering book releases, we'll find differences that could easily be acceptable, even laudable, the dialogue between Arya and Tywin for instance being one of the many highlights of the show, or we could see this taking a Walking Dead plunge from grace. Search your heart, you know it to be true Corrl.

•  It's characters and cast change frequently ; This is a statement I'm not entirely sure people will get a great handle on, so I'll expand in depth. This is a show that prides itself on the ideal that no one is safe, and that is for the most part entirely factual. There are a few instances of characters with plot armor, we know for instance that Daenerys will survive as without the mother of dragons hamming up her ancestry, things would become rather dour across the narrow sea. There are other characters afforded this 'plot armor', and we'll see that, but as a general rule of thumb no one is beneath the books. As such, when I tell you that of the scant handful of familiar faces we have currently more shall fall and fresh faces anew shall join, it should worry you. You'd be a fool not to be. These are actors frankly who have proven their salt and made us care for them, so in each of their deaths a lingering hole remains that must quickly be plugged by a new and tender face. Thus far the show has been fairly adequate at plugging gaps and shuffling, but the fact of the matter is it won't be too long before entire segments and episodes of the show are dedicated to these newly emergent faces, and we might see the acting prowess slope when some of our more esteemed and established stalwarts fall. I realize this is prospective, but if you are telling me that this is the greatest of all, you must settle for this conjecture until the product is finished.

 

• It relies too heavily on shock ;  I know I'm going to get some flak for this if anyone is to read it, primarily because that is the central draw of the show itself. Knaves! Swords! Nudity! Bastards! All wrapped up within a delicious plot of sparse magic and winged reptiles. It's the moniker of Game of Thrones and a large mark of it's success, and I can't fault the ideal behind it as the books themselves revel in these topics, but even the gore soaked texts don't amount to the Caligula like mounds of flesh that we find ourselves immersed in. It seems facile to say back in my day, but certainly in a time not too long past to see a dwarf fondling tits, you had to have joined the darker of the gentlemen's clubs, and lurked in their seedy waters. That might seem offensive to say, but it's entirely factual. There are concepts expanded upon in this show that ordinarily couldn't be televised, not to mention the conceptual incest plowing, bare bodied lesbian grinding and other acts of debauchery previously locked within the pornographer's cellar. That's not to say the smut of the show is it's downfall, although frankly it would be a fine thing for the director to learn that when it comes to breasts more is less, no, it also ties in to the entire premise of the show at large. Main characters dieing is part and parcel of the format, we know what we're in for. Without spoiling the events of the previous series for anyone yet to catch up, we've just bolted a hurdle that will be pretty hard to top, and another approaches rapidly in succession. With the passing of the coming events, the pace will ultimately slow once more in the calm before the storm and it will be interesting to see how fans react to the slowing roller coaster that is the plot after this. Without the shock, what will the show be? Will the producers have to dip more heavily from one excess into another? It begs the question, what is left when we've become numb to the offerings?

• It's characters don't develop within the story ; "NOW HOLD ON!" I hear you cry, "That's an opinion that has no warrant! Look at the funny guy Tyrion and... And..." And thus my problem begins. The characters certainly do grow a little and the show is very good at portraying duality, but we switch attention from post to post too quickly to see a great deal of systematic growth. I'm not saying they are two dimensional constructs, though let's face it, most are drawn from well known stereotypes, I'm instead saying the events and their progressions while doing something to mark and mar the perceptions leave no deeper scars. We're left with the same characters as erst they were, no huge bounds of sanity, no crumbling morals or climbs of redemption, sans Lannister. It feels strange for me to say that there is a polarized effect, but when you can sort out who is an asshole by their family name we've entered the dark and sticky realm of character trait rolls, and in many ways it does feel like we're in the hands of a seasoned dungeon master watching the rolls play out. What would I say has good character development by example? Well Breaking Bad had some of the best, if not the very best character development of perhaps any recent series to date, and certainly the ideals and nature of man are expressed in fantastic depth in True Detective. Perhaps watching those would give you a better idea of meaning to the phrase. In any such case, for all the cleverness and beauty, there is little growth on either side. Revelations? Certainly. Acts of scant redemption? Why yes. Growth? I'm afraid we're a half man short.

So! When all is said, what are we left with, to surmise? It's certainly a show of terrific standards, and it rises above many others quite literally in draconian strides. Does it sit upon the televisual throne however? No, perhaps not, but it could given time. I shall be watching with delight, in any such case.